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Marriage
and Divorce
The Bride
and the Adulterous
Pastor
Gerry Burney
The
Resurrection to God and
the Resurrection to Hell
Copyright 2006
Deuteronomy
17:14-17; 1 Tim. 1:12-17
Few people understand just
what is meant by the sanctity of marriage. I, as a Christian pastor, share with all
Catholics, Protestants, and the Jewish faith, the understanding of the sanctity of marriage, that marriage has
a connection with God’s plan for us, that marriage is designed by
God, and that
marriage by any other definition is a deception.
Many may use the term marriage
to mean things other than what God intended, and that is
what is happening today. It is like
calling a bicycle a car. Both will get
you down the road, but they are not the same thing.
So it is with marriage. There
is only one true marriage which is sanctified by God
and recognized through history,
and its purpose is to display God’s plan for salvation.
When
you hear the word marriage,
what comes to your mind? Some think
of love. Some think of fifty year
anniversaries. Some think of having
to endure fifty very
long years. Some think of
children. Some remember hardships,
and
also joys. Some think of political
change, that is, expanding the
definition of marriage to include homosexual and polygamous situations.
When
you hear the word wedding,
what comes to your mind? Brides
think of the groom, and grooms think
of the bride. Mothers think of their
children’s happiness, and pray for them, and fathers think of how
to pay for it
(some fathers also think of their children, and pray for them).
When
you hear the word divorce,
what comes to your mind? Children—and
how they will suffer. Who is right, and
who is wrong. Reconciliation. Broken lives. Separation.
Suffering.
History
is full of differing opinions of how to interpret God’s Word
concerning
marriage, divorce, and remarriage. God
uses marriage as the example of His plan of salvation throughout the
Scriptures, which means that the solution to our dilemma on how to
understand
God’s ways concerning marriage, divorce, and remarriage, is to
understand God’s
plan of salvation.
As
Christians, what we should be thinking about, when we hear these words
of marriage
and divorce, is God’s plan:
The betrothal pictures God loving all His creation. God,
however, knew that not all of His
creation would love Him back and trust in
Him.
The wedding
pictures Jesus (the groom), coming back for His bride—the
resurrection and
rapture for those who trust in Him (the
second coming—the
millennium).
The divorce pictures the resurrection to the judgment of
eternal
separation from God, for those who do not
love God and trust
fully in Him (the final
judgment).
The marriage pictures the resurrection to
eternal life with God in
His kingdom (the new heaven and earth).
It
is my contention that if we raised our children, if we taught in our
churches,
if we counseled those getting married about the true meaning behind the
marriage
and divorce plan of God, then: 1)
Every time we hear of
people getting engaged (betrothed), we would be
reminded of God’s love and the creation.
2) Every
time we hear the word wedding, we would think of the
resurrection, and God’s saving grace. 3)
Every time we hear the word divorce,
we would think of God and His judgment to come for those who do not
love Jesus. 4) Every time we hear the word
marriage, we would think of God and
His eternal kingdom.
The
world today has a misunderstanding of marriage and divorce. In today’s worldview, marriage is simply
the
joining together of those people who love, and are committed to each
other. And, many times divorce is just a
means of
starting over…“I’ll just marry someone else.”
In
broad terms, this can include like beings (homosexuals), and multiple
beings (polygamists).
God,
however, gave His plan for marriage (and also divorce), to reflect His
plan of
the resurrection and judgment to come, when Jesus returns to the earth.
Jesus
is the bridegroom (Matt. 9:15; Luke
5:31-33; John 3:29), and the believers who love God, and are
committed to
Him, are the bride (Rev. 19:7-9, 21:9),
and those who deny Christ will be separated and divorced (Rev.
19:11-21, 20:11-15). [A
point of clarification is in order here.
Let us not be confused with the analogy of
God’s bride being made up of
many souls. This is not a picture of
multiple wives. This is a picture of one
body (the bride, or wife). God describes
the followers of Christ in singular
terms—the bride (Rev. 21:2, 9),
and the wife (Rev.
19:7, 21:9)].
So, why
are we humans depicted as a bride? Why not
the groom? In God’s plan, we humans
were created in the
image of God, just as Eve (the bride), was created out of the image
(side) of
Adam. Thus, we, like Eve, are viewed in
God’s plan as the bride, and God (the Creator), is the groom,
depicted by Adam,
from whom Eve came. From the beginning,
God wanted us to understand that the bride (Eve/humans), came out of
the
creation of the groom (Adam/God). This
is why there are no marriages in heaven (Matt.
22:30, Mark 12:25, Luke 20:35), because the heavenly host are
pictured as
married to God, not to each other.
The
purpose of marriage, then, is to represent God’s plan of
creation, love, and
salvation, including the resurrection and judgment to eternal
separation. Therefore, marriage and
divorce cannot be
changed into a human plan of including everybody into marriage, and
“no fault”
divorce. These are human perversions of
“anything
goes.” God’s plan is
restrictive. Not everyone will enter into
the final
marriage. God’s plan calls for
a
divorce, and God is not tolerant. God
is patient, but not tolerant. God does
discriminate.
God
established how we are to institute marriage amongst humans as between
one man,
the groom, and one woman, the bride (Deut.
17:14-17; Matt. 19:4-6; 1 Tim. 3:2-12; Titus 1:6; 1 Cor. 7:2).
This
means that to truly understand how God designed marriage to work, we
need to
understand God’s plan for salvation—and the resurrection,
and judgment to
come. By discussing marriage and
divorce, in terms relating to God’s plan of salvation, people can
better
understand the true sacred nature of each.
God’s
plan is laid out for our understanding in the Jewish marriage tradition. Jesus even performed His first miracle at a
marriage feast—a transfiguration (John
2:1-6), thus, establishing the connection between the
resurrection—a transfiguration
(1 Cor. 15:51-58), and the marriage
feast to come (Rev. 19 and 20). Did
you think this was just a coincidence?
The
problem for the Christian church today, is that the church has allowed
the
connection between the marriage and divorce plan of God, and
God’s plan of the
resurrection and judgment, to
be eroded. Today, we are left with the
love and commitment portion remaining, but no God (2 Tim.
4:3). Today, the
world sees traditional marriage as restrictive, and out-of-date. But, God actually called for marriage to be
restrictive (one man and one woman), with no re-marriage.
By ignoring the connection of marriage to
God’s plan of salvation and judgment, we miss God’s
purpose, and we open the
term “marriage” up to new interpretations, which do not
agree with God’s Word,
or God’s plan of the resurrection and judgment to come. God requires marriage in a certain way in
order to deliver His message of eternal
salvation and judgment, and not simply to meet the human needs of how
to live
in this earthly life, which is only temporary.
We
all know that in our western culture, the focus of the wedding is on
the
bride. All eyes are on the bride. But, in the Jewish tradition (as well as all
of the eastern faiths), it is the groom who everyone focuses on. The groom is the center of the ceremony. The description of the Jewish marriage,
including the betrothal, wedding, and actual conclusion, (which Jesus
was very
familiar with, since He instituted it), is as follows:
In a Jewish wedding, the
father selects the bride (God, the Father has
selected/predestined who is to be saved—Rom.
8:28-30; Eph. 1:4, 11).
The groom travels to the
bride’s place, proposes a covenant to purchase
the bride, toasts the engagement with wine, pays a price, and goes to
build a
place for the bride. (Jesus came to
earth, drank wine with the apostles the night before His death to seal
the
covenant, gave His life in payment for our sins, and went to prepare a
place
for us—John 14:1-6—in the millennium).
In the Jewish tradition,
the father sets the wedding date. (Jesus
said no one knows the day or the
hour, except the Father—Matt. 24:36).
In a Jewish wedding, the
groom is announced with a shout. Then, the
bride leaves her home, and goes
with the groom (along with many others in the marriage procession),
from the
bride’s place to the new house, where the vows are taken, wine is
drank, and
the wedding celebration begins. The
bride is “surprised” because she doesn’t know exactly
when this will
happen. However, the
“surprise” is not a
shock—she has been waiting and expecting it.
Rather, it is a pleasant joyful experience.
(Jesus’ return will be
announced with a shout—1 Thess. 4:14-17,
the resurrection will take place—1 Cor.
15:51-52, and the millennium will begin –Matt.
26:29; Rev. 19:6-9).
When the marriage
consummation is complete (in a Jewish wedding, up to
seven days), the marriage is then complete, and the bride is seen
unveiled
(revealed), and a great marriage supper is held.
(At the end of the millennium, a long period
of time with Christ (the groom), there will be a celebration of the
marriage
for the saved, and a final judgment for those who have rejected Jesus. Then, at last, the saved will spend eternity
in God’s kingdom—Rev. 19 through
Rev. 21:1-7).
In
summary, then, the term “marriage” in the Jewish tradition
includes all the
following: The marriage begins with a betrothal (seen as this long period of
time from the creation until Christ’s return.
The Hebrew word for “betrothal” is
kiddushin,
which means sanctified, or set apart).
Once the bride is set apart (all those to be
saved), then, the next
event is the wedding celebration (seen as the actual event of
Christ’s return—Rev. 19-20).
This celebration will last a long
time—the
millennium—1,000 years). At
the end of the
celebration, the bride is revealed, and a great marriage feast is held. At the end of the millennium (Rev.
20-21) will be the final judgment,
and the new heaven and earth will begin.
The term “marriage” includes all
of this.
Now,
we don’t need to practice all these Jewish traditions in our
ceremonies, but we
do need to teach the connection of God’s marriage plans to His
plans of
salvation and judgment. God uses this
marriage plan to emulate His relationship with those who love Him, trust
Him, and stay true to
Him. For those who deny Jesus, God’s
plan calls for a divorce in the end—a permanent, eternal
separation.
Just
as the central focus of a married couple should be Christ, so the
central
thought of the marriage
should be the resurrection, the reconciliation, and the possibility of
a
divorce.
We
need to note that there is no remarriage in God’s plan (Matt. 5:31-32; Mark 10:11; Luke 16:18).
The actual marriage, the finalized marriage,
is at the very end, when the final judgment is held (Rev. 20),
and those who are not to remain in the marriage are divorced. God states that remarriage to a different
spouse is a sin. In human affairs, this
is frequently done, as we are all sinners (Rom.
3:23). However, in God’s plan
there
is no remarriage, as there is only one, true uncreated, eternal,
sinless God (Deut. 6:4; Isa. 44:6-8, 45:21-22, 47:9-10;
1 Corin. 8:4). Therefore, marriage to God, or divorce from God, are
the
only options. In human affairs, God has
provided for a couple of exceptions (such as that of the widow), but in
God’s
salvation plan, there will be no exceptions.
God
allows marriage between men and women, but He does not require it. In 1
Corinthians 7, Paul points out the dangers of marriage, as well as
the
benefits of remaining single. Paul also
notes that marriage is given to keep us from immoral sexual activity. Moreover, the marriage plan itself is given
to us to demonstrate God’s plan for our eternal destiny.
The
ideal marriage includes one man and one woman in total love and
commitment to
each other, and both primarily committed to God. Unfortunately,
we are all fallen beings
(sinners at birth), and few achieve God’s example.
God does not desire divorce, but does allow
divorce, only because of the hardness of human hearts towards one
another. This, too, is in God’s
plan, because God
Himself will invoke a divorce between Himself and all those who do not
love,
and commit to Him—the hard-hearted. This
divorce will occur at the very end judgment (Rev. 20),
and will result in eternal separation from God. Isolation,
alone, forever.
God
does allow provisions, or exceptions, for remarriage (such as for
widows in
this earthly life), because we humans, unlike God, do sin, fall short,
and die
(1 Cor. 7). God’s
own marriage plan is perfect, as there
is only one, true God, and He is uncreated, and eternal, and there will
not be
any remarriage to some other god possible, because there is no other
god. This is also why homosexual
“marriage” must
be rejected. There is only one God. The bride in God’s plan does not marry a
bride, and, further, we are not gods, which means God does not marry
some other
god. Unions between homosexuals may be
recognized by a government, if man chooses to do so. However, this can
never be
a marriage in the ancient meaning God gave—one woman (bride), to
one God
(groom).
The
reason so many marriages fail, is not just because the church has
failed to
correctly convey the sanctity of the marriage covenant, and how it is
related
to God’s plan of salvation. The
primary
reason so many marriages are failing, is due to the fact that either
one, or
both of the individuals getting married, are not true Christians. To be a true Christian, means one must place
Christ as first priority in one’s life, thus, placing Christ at
the center of
one’s life. Most couples getting
married either do not both worship Christ as Lord and Savior, or one,
or both
of them, mistakenly think of themselves as a Christian.
In reality, many people were raised in a
Christian environment, but actually are not truly born again (John 3:3-6). Thus, many are
like the two soils
in Matthew 13, where they begin to
look like they are taking in the Word of God, but they die before
bearing any
fruit. By restoring the true meaning
of
the marriage and divorce plan of God in our teaching and preaching, all
who
hear will understand, with clarity, exactly what is God’s
plan of salvation, and its relationship to God’s plan for
marriage.
If
men and women entered into marriage as born-again believers, committed
to God,
then most divorces would not happen in the first place.
Even for those marriages which did end in
divorce, as Christians, they would not end the marriage in order to
remarry
another, as remarriage is not part of God’s plan (with a couple
of exceptions,
such as widows). Many Christians
today,
do not understand these distinctions of God’s plan.
Today,
many Christians do not understand what it is to be “born
again,” to have a
personal relationship with God. Many
Christians today, are not truly Christian, and the church bears much
responsibility. I would venture to say
that most Christians today have no idea that there is a direct
connection
between God’s plan for marriage, and God’s plan for
salvation and judgment.
Those
who have been involved in marriage (before
understanding what it is to be “born again”), and those who
have been divorced,
and are now remarried to another (and have not properly understood
God’s
restrictions and purpose for Christians), are still sinners—but
so are we
all. These are not necessarily
permanently
condemned to hell for their poor choices and lack of understanding. God is gracious and merciful.
Forgiveness is available to all sinners, if
we repent (change) our ways. God told
Israel to change their ways, and at the same time, God provided laws to
care
and provide for those already in sinful conditions, such as polygamy (Exodus 21:10; Deut. 21:15). But,
note that God did say to change, and
this change was to begin with the leadership (Deut. 17:14-20). God’s
motive is to correct in love, to
provide for, and to care for us while
we change. Paul said it best in 1 Timothy 1:12-17. We act
ignorantly while in unbelief, but God
has perfect patience for us to trust in Jesus and change.
The
question today is, when we become “born again” (John
3:3-6), will we begin a transition to God’s ways (as we
become
aware of His ways), or will we remain in the world?
If one has a question about what to do, now
that they are “born again,” and have become aware of
God’s commands on marriage
and remarriage, one need only ask themselves:
What is my motive? Do
I truly
desire to follow God’s ways from now on, or am I more motivated
to continue in
the world’s ways?
Just
as God provided for Israel
during their transition to follow Him, so too, God will forgive our
past sins,
and help us transition into our new born again
life with Him.
God
will honor our desire to follow in His ways, and help us while we make
that
transition, and forgive our sins. God
wants us to start anew, become born again, and as God says in Deuteronomy 17:16, don’t go back to the
old ways. Repent, change, transition to
God’s ways. God’s kingdom is
at hand (Matt. 3:2).
Once
a truly born-again Christian is made aware of God’s plan, and
restrictions on
remarriage, they must transition to God’s ways, and stay true to
God, or become
like the five virgins of Matthew 25. These desired
to be with God, but are
excluded, because of their lack of love and commitment (Matt.
7:21-23; Matt. 25; Rom. 3:19-20). In
Matthew
25, only five of the ten virgins will be welcomed at the wedding. Virgins, are those who have never worshiped
another god,
and all ten in this parable qualify in this regard.
However, only five of those who profess
Jesus, as Lord and Savior, actually have a loving and committed
relationship,
and demonstrate evidence of their love (Jas.
2:16-19). The other five talk about wanting the benefits of heaven, but are
unwilling to commit themselves to
love Jesus, first and foremost, in their lives.
They have no oil. Jesus,
for
these five, is not the center, or focus, of their lives.
Jesus is not a priority.
We enter
this world separated from God as sinners (Eph.
2:5-9). We enter this world as
sinners because of the fall in Eden (Gen.
3), and we are now separated from God, estranged, and in need of
reconciliation. In the book of Hosea, we
read how Hosea is like Christ in performing this
reconciliation. Hosea is to take an adulterous
wife (Hos. 1:2),
and Hosea is to pay a price for her.
Gomer, the wife of Hosea, is separated from
him, estranged, but not yet
divorced, just as we, too, are born into this world, separated from
God,
estranged (because of the fall in Eden), and yet, not divorced. We are in need, just as Gomer, of being
reconciled to the marriage, or face divorce (see the book “The
Flat Earth & Genesis,”
or study “You
Asked For It”, <---
Click On Titles)
In
the Jewish tradition, the marriage begins with the betrothal, where the
father
selects the bride, and the couple are considered married from the
betrothal on,
unless there is a formal divorce (Matt.
1:18-19; Gen. 19:14). In
God’s
plan, the marriage begins with the creation of all host—where God
selected (created),
a heavenly host (Gen. 2:1—the Hebrew
word translated “array,” used in some translations,
includes all host). We
are created/selected/betrothed, and await
the Groom. In Revelation
12:1-4, we learn that about one-third of the host fell,
and Jesus (like Hosea), will pay a price (Jesus paid His life—His
blood), and
Jesus, like Hosea, will take an adulterous wife (the betrothed who have
sinned). This is the love Jesus has for
us, that He paid the price—in full. The
host, which did not fall (about two-thirds), need no price paid, and
they are
not estranged and separated from God (see book “The Flat Earth & Genesis”).
Jesus
did just as the son does in a traditional Jewish marriage.
After the price had been paid, He went to
prepare a place for us (John 14:1-6),
to provide a place in the millennium for us (Rev. 20),
as our eternal home is already prepared (Matt. 25:34; Heb.
11:16), and we will
join with Jesus as soon as He returns one day to claim His bride (Rev. 19—see Millennium
Study, or books Revelation, Apostasy, End-Times, &
“This
Generation”, or God’s Plan
/ Satan’s Plan, <---
Please Click On Title
) Of the one-third who fell, God
predestines some to be elect (saved), and some not to be elect
(condemned to
hell—John 3:18). All
will be called to salvation, the Good
News of Christ (Matt. 13—see Original Sin,
and Predestination Studies, or books Flat
Earth & Genesis,
or God’s
Plan / Satan’s Plan, <--- Click On Titles).
Just
as in the traditional Jewish marriage, the father sets the date for the
wedding
(Matt. 24:36).
All
the host are considered married from the beginning of creation (the
betrothal),
having been created (selected), just as in a traditional Jewish
marriage, and
the marriage is not finalized until after the consummation of the
marriage is
over, at the end of the millennium. Then
a great marriage feast is held, or in the case of those not invited to
be part
of the celebration, the final judgment takes place (Rev. 20—see
Millennium Study,
or book Revelation, Apostasy,
End-Times, & “This Generation,” <--- Click On Titiles!). The two-thirds of the
host which did not fall are
active with God, and they will also be part of the wedding, having been
created
(selected) by the Father in the beginning.
Of the one-third that did fall (Rev.
12:1-4), only a fraction will enter into the wedding (perhaps only
one-forth
– Matt. 8:11-12; Matt. 13; Matt. 22).
When
the date of the wedding is to begin (Rev.
19), it is a picture of a wedding celebration, where the bride is
ready (by
her own works, she is rewarded—Rev.
19:7-8), and Christ returns for His bride, just as in the
traditional Jewish
marriage. This celebration could last
from one day to one week (in the Jewish tradition, one week is normal). During this period of fellowship between the
groom and bride, the bride used to remain veiled, until the marriage
was
complete, and consummated. In other
words, in the original Jewish wedding, the bride was not to be revealed
or seen
until the very end. After the marriage
was consummated, then the wife was revealed.
The events of Genesis 29
caused a change in this tradition. In
weddings today, the bride’s veil is lifted, and the bride
revealed, prior to
the wedding vows being taken. At the end
of
the celebration period, the marriage having been consummated, and
therefore,
finally complete, then a great marriage supper is held.
During this whole period, from betrothal, to
the wedding, to the actual marriage conclusion, a divorce is possible. In fact, Jesus will judge those not worthy to
be part of the marriage (those who don’t love Jesus), and divorce
them in the
end (Matt. 8:11-12; Matt. 22:11-14; Rev.
20). Thus, the reason why the bride was to remain veiled until the
very
end, is because the bride of Christ will not be revealed and known
until the
very end.
The church bishops used to control the
approval of marriage, and
discourage divorce, endeavoring to follow God’s plan. At first, the church bishops greatly
restricted divorce. In time, the church
bishops allowed divorce, but no remarriage—which agrees with
God’s plan. From the very beginning,
the early church
position was no remarriage. Centuries
later, unfortunately, remarriages were accepted and expanded, which is
popular
in meeting human desires, but is specifically not part of God’s
plan, with
certain exceptions. During the
1500’s,
the Protestant reformers were successful in placing matters of marriage
and
divorce under government jurisdiction. By
allowing government to dictate standards,
God’s plan was replaced with man’s plan, and divorce was
allowed to lead to the
unrestricted remarriages we witness today.
The bishops opened the door to the eventual
dissolution of the sanctity
of traditional marriage. Today, marriage
is becoming an all-inclusive arrangement, even extended to homosexual
and
polygamous relationships. God’s plan
for
marriage has always been a restrictive, discriminatory plan, which
foretold of
the resurrection and judgment to come.
Today,
any connection between God’s marriage plan, and
God’s plan of salvation, resurrection, and judgment, has long
been lost. In order to re-establish the
true sanctity of
marriage (as instituted by God), we must return to God’s Word,
and God’s plan
for marriage and divorce, based upon God’s plan of salvation and
judgment. Marriage is not simply a union
between two
loving beings, or between several loving beings. Marriage
is the example of God, one day
uniting with His bride for all eternity at the judgment, and, the
divorce of
all others to hell—eternal separation and isolation, alone,
forevermore.
To
this end, God has set forth a plan to develop our understanding of His
true
love for us as sinners, and also His final judgment—divorce for
those who deny
Jesus.
In a marriage, we are to
witness and experience God’s plan for joy and love
(In the resurrection to come, many will
experience this joy of love with God).
In a divorce,
we are to
witness and suffer the pain of separation—also part of
God’s plan (In the resurrection to
come, many will experience this separation and isolation).
In the resurrection to come no
one will experience
remarriage—there is only one God.
Under
God’s plan, we are to be living, every day, the actual plan of
salvation and
judgment. Through these life processes,
we should come to understand God’s plan of reconciling us, a
fallen people, to
eternal life with God, and also His plan of divorce to eternal
separation—hell.
Remarriage
to another is outside of God’s plan (with a couple of exceptions,
like the
widow, which fulfills a human need).
This ban on remarriage is to be an example to
us that there is no other
god to marry.
Are
Christians ready to reinstate God’s plan for marriage
and divorce, and thus, restore a true understanding of God’s plan
of salvation
and judgment (understanding that God is loving, forgiving, and patient
with us
while we change)? This is not the
definition of marriage most people are familiar with!
Or,
have we abandoned God, for human understanding, and convenience (2 Tim. 4:3)?
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